If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
