i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize