I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
