Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
