u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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