they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize