Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
