So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
