im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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