its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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