I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
