Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
