u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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