If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Randomize
