I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My pussy is not your playground.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
