Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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