What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
