Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
