god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
