I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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