Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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