i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
