We're facebook friends in real life
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
