so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just blew my weed a kiss
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
