i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you will always have a special place in my vag
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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