i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
