i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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