I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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