barbara walters just said penis...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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