SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize