god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
