I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
