i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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