The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
