I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
