Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
