How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
