Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
