this just has baby written all over it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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