New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
