Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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