Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
ok first of all what the fuck
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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