Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
