i just google imaged poop.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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