Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
