those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
