were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
