We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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