I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize