i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
