therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
