If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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