Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
