Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
