its not stalking. its research.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
