Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
