HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
