Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
