sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
