look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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