you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
