Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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