This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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