My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
