I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize