I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
