Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize