How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
