you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love having hate sex.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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