i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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