I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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